IF YOU'LL PARDON MY SAYING SO

Warren Hastings and Herberte Jordan

A lady to see you, Mr. Archibald, sir.

The matter appears to be pressing.

Luncheon was served quite an hour ago,

I did not awaken you, sir, as you know.

There are times, sir, when sleep is a blessing.

I have here some ice, sir, to place on your head,

And also a whisky and "polly".

I don't know what time you retired to bed,

But the party sir, must have been jolly,

If you'll pardon my saying so.

The lady in question a-waiting below,

Is accompanied, sir, by her mother,

And also a prize-fighting gentleman, sir,

A pugnacious character one might infer,

Whom the lady describes as her brother.

The elderly female is quite commonplace,

A most vulgar person, I fear, sir,

Who shouts in a nerve wracking falsetto voice,

And her language is painful to hear, sir,

If you'll pardon my saying so.

-o0o-